Art of Conversation (still learning)

According to the English writer, Dorothy Nevill, "the real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

My mouth leads me around a lot. It gets me into unexpected and interesting places that I like. But when it gets me into trouble, you can bet it is a whopper. 

One night recently I had a completely terrible night of technical problems when I was shooting an interview for a documentary we have going.  The documentary involves musicians and so we were at a bar and it was late. I'll spare you the details but you must know that I was absolutely spent. My frustration with the technical hurdles had left me reduced to a blob with a patch of hair on top. Finally, after we got the interview (which turned out fine, by the way), we packed up the gear and grabbed drinks.  It's midnight and I was operating on fumes.  

A friend spots me and says hello.  She has a two-woman punk band. Their lyrics are strong and funny and they use parenting as one of their themes. For part of the chorus of one song, they yell, "Colic! Colic! Colic!" followed by imitations of a baby whailing. I liked their attitude, their beat and their show stayed with me. Plus, I like her. She's electric. She's a friend that I hardly ever see, but I'm a fan. I eagerly tell her how great their band is. 

We sit down in the beer garden and her pal in the band walks up.  She is a small-framed and slender woman wearing a stiff cotton baby-doll dress. I recognize her face as someone that I recall but I don't place her yet. I just know that I think that I like her and I want to know her. I turn to my friend, "Don't I know her?" She introduces us. 

When I hear that she's the bad-ass little drummer of their band, I light up. She sits down across from me and her dress billows with a crease under her breasts and another at her lap. I remember the last time I saw this petite woman, she was rocking out behind a drum set. Now she's standing in front of me and the way her dress bulges so far out I make a huge awful assumption. (Oh, yes, you see this train wreck coming. Say, "Oh, no, you didn't." But, "Yes. I did.") 

I have never made this particular mistake in my life and spoken it aloud. And without any processing or hesitation, my little groupie p.o.v. now pictures her rocking out pregnant. And I love it. How bad-ass is that? With total admiration I say, "I didn't realize you were pregnant." Even after I say it, I see no risks in what I am saying. I am beaming. She asks, "What?" And still, no clue hits me and I say it again. Finally she replies, "I am not." 

I recoiled physically as I apologized.  I absolutely did not want to offend this woman. Hell, I was trying to make a new friend.I replay the scenario over and over in my head and wish so deeply that I could have a do-over. A time out. Anything. The perverse trick to the lesson is that I wasn't thinking anything bad or commenting on her body. In fact, she's petite. She looked great. I liked that she was a drummer. I was fantasizing about being a rocker. That was all. The dress tricked me, damn it.

I clearly hurt this woman's feelings. My friend immediately explained to her that it is her dress. Of course, the damage was done. Even if such a mistake could be forgivable, it is unforgettable. She went to a different part of the bar. My friend then explained to me that the drummer had just lost 40 pounds. She went to talk with her. I went home.

Patio Bridal Shower

A couple of weeks ago, my side patio made a delightful and cool outside space to have a lingerie party for my dear friend, Angie. We popped her presies into a vintage shopping cart that is leftover from an art installation that usually holds drinks or flowers in the summer. Bruce made TWO key lime pies and an apple streudel. We had Prosecco sangria, light fare and many laughs.  

Later in the night, the party rolled into a BBQ that included the groom-to-be and more guests, including guys.  By pre-delegating the potluck, everyone contributed to a slightly german theme in honor of Dean.  Brats, sauerkraut, potato salad and so on.  The night worked out smoothly and best of all, the couple of honor were pleased!

(More pics to come, I hope, after I get them from guests.)

Haint Blue

So, my favorite part of painting my house this summer is the porch ceiling. It's sky blue. It really brightens up my porch space! 

I had heard this is popular in Southern American culture. In fact, I've seen it. And then my friend, Heather did it and inspired me to do it, too. There is an episode on NPR's All Things Considered in 2006 that covers it further, but basically the blue is believed to ward off evil spirits, extend the light at dusk and helps to keep bugs away.  I may want to believe, but I can report that life is good around here, the light from my porch is gorgeous especially at dusk and I don't see many bugs hanging out there as much as I did. I didn't find any science to prove it, but at the very least, it looks really cool (literally and aesthetically) and I figure I've got nothing to lose.

Everyone should do it!

Concrete forms

I used three pieces of cast concrete that I made as tests for a public art project several years ago as a little 'entry flair' into the studio.  They are each roughly 3 foot square and 4 inches deep. I planted creeping thyme in the centers of each. Some bunny thinks I did all of this work for him.  I was worried he would hate the gravel. Instead, he lounges like he's living in the French Riviera or something. And nibbles on the thyme which seems to have an affect like catnip. He does spazzy jumps after he has some, like it's really spicy or tart, but goes back for more. I have thyme of many varieties around the yard and he never eats it all down.  He just snacks on it. How great is that?

Back Patio

After I finished the patio on the side of the house by the driveway, I couldn't stop. I moved through the gate and into the back!  I hauled gravel by the bag. This kind of gravel only comes by the bag and as it turned out, was much easier carrying and placing by hand than shoveling it into a wheelbarrow from a big pile in my driveway. Ironically, after I was done, I found out about a smaller version that is easier to walk on. I like the patio anyway. I highly recommend it as a cheap way to reduce grass (my big mission in my gardening life) and establish an outdoor space.

Side Patio

The wisteria loves the spot it is in and is growing crazy! I need to train it soon. The shopping cart is handy for parties. With a tub for chilling beverages and extra room for what gets served room-temp, plus a little pocket for a corkscrew, it is a ready-made bar.

Mountain Scars

The mountain by my house caught fire. Kids playing with matches story. And helicopters flew over my house, hauling water to try to stop it. Their buckets looked like thimbles next to the size of flames running up the mountain. I took this picture from my driveway.

Graveling

First I set out to have the house painted.  Finally. And I love it. At the same time, I began to create some gravel patios at my house while I finished landscaping at Cooper Street. So while I was digging grass at one place, I was laying sod at another. And mixed in there, the folks came to town!