Shallow Breathing

wtf was I thinking? 300 level course. meets 3 hours once a week.  too much time is now not enough time. contemporary art.  and criticism.  freaking hell.  

One week it is great, my plan works and I see light bulbs flashing in my students heads and I get a huge charge out of it. Another week it is painful and flat. Either way it is draining.  I am a novice performing dental work.  And I know it.  

I'm told that this is all normal.  It's my first time teaching it and it's all new course prep.  Ok.  Damn it that sucks.  And it is so different from other courses that I have taught - I LIKE THIS COURSE.  But ultimately, I can't tell if I care too much or not enough to do this sort of thing. Well.  Do it and be good at it.  

Do you feel the anxiety attack I am living?  When I plan a day's class.  When I grade an assignment.  When I sit alone in my office which is totally bazaaro.

Today I made a pizza with garlic and tomatillos from my garden.  I used dough from a local bakery.  It grounded me. Tasty, fresh and comforting.  It feels good to cook. It put the anxiety attack at bay for a few seconds.  

Enough on that - off the Holland Lake for the weekend for A/D's wedding.  Cheers!!!

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