pocket music

Technology pushes everyone around it seems, especially artists I often think because there is so much to keep up with, adapt to and compete with and artists are a culture's innovators. However, in the end I feel artists get the last word.

I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not but just as the piano evolved from dulcimers, our idea of what defines an instrument continues to change and include what began simply as a phone.   Mobile apps are redefining the idea of a music band and expanding our options to make music.  I haven't developed much of an ear for techno synthesized music yet, but I am pleased with the inventiveness of what people are doing to make music with what they are carrying in their pocket.  In some ways the technology levels the playing field, helping set a beat and letting someone without musical talent 'play' an instrument.  The spread of digital music is an undeniable fact, but for me reveals less about technology and more of the human desire to make art.   

Here is a video (2008) of iBand; two iPhones and a Nintendo D combine to play app instruments (apps by MooCowMusic) much like any band formed by using other instruments. 

What if you are rocking four iPhones?  Then you have the option of a one woman (or man) band like South Korean Kim Yeo Hee (a.k.a. Apple Girl). She can and does play 'real' instruments, too, as she does for "Half" with a full band and backup singers. 

Watch below as she covers Lady Gaga's "Pokerface" with only iPhone 'instruments' using T-Pain, Beatmaker and a fourth app that I could understand what she says (please help me translate if you can).

Here's a bit of Michael Jackson's Black or White on an iPhone using the app iShred. (Video by alychg 2011.)

Here is one more song with irony hopefully not lost, "Life Is Greater Than the Internet," also from iBand using two iPhones and an iPod Touch.

 

If you come across more music produced on the iPhone or the iPad (I didn't even start listing iPad songs but they are out there!), please share ones that you like with me. 

It will be interesting to see how the songs evolve with the assistance of mobile devices and how more artists own (or abandon) the medium.  Besides, I'm inspired by the ingenuity.

steve albini on artist's mistake

Being an artist:

Steve Albini in an interview by D.I.Y. or Die.

shellac and helen money

This past Sunday we shot video of Shellac playing in Missoula for Sustain, the Travis Bean Guitar Doc that we've been making.  

I met the guitarist, Steve Albini, when we interviewed him in Chicago but this was my first time seeing the band perform live and these guys know how to put on a show.  As ambivalent in attitude as they may seem in some of what I've read about them, their show absolutely pays attention to the audience with banter, momentum and  intensity.  At one point, Albini gnaws at his guitar strings as if it were a chicken leg.  But watching him, and I was directly in front of him zoomed in on the guitar strings at this moment, and hearing the sounds that result, he's almost elegant about it. Considering his straightforward, confidence and enjoyment making well-prepared food for his wife (I follow his cooking blog, 'Mario Batali voice',) his performance with a guitar makes sense.  Like he's lapping at a bowl of three-minute gazpacho.  He makes and enjoys his soup, and he'll share with you how to make it, too.     

Any decent footage that comes out of that dark, low-ceiling den called the Palace will be saved for our movie.  For now, here is a still photo of the band setting up.  Albini is in front wearing his trademark mechanic's jumper.

   

The opening act rocked too

Helen Money, a one-woman electrical cello band, opened for Shellac.  Her weighty notes were a revelation for me.  I bought her latest cd, In Tune, to ruminate over as autumn settles in.  

Here is 'Mondo' by Helen Money with animation by Nelson Chan.

To learn more about the movie we are making on Travis Bean Guitars click here. 

Both bands will be performing in California, Oregon and Washington in the coming days.  Please report back to me if you catch a show.

foxy shazam

My nephew, Nick, turned me onto some new noises.  I can't get enough of Foxy Shazam since he did.  It's like crossing Freddie Mercury with Jack White or something. 

So far I highly recommending listening to "Unstoppable" while scraping paint, sanding trim and patching plaster and occasionally pretend you are encased in white leotards.

love songs

A friend recently told me she didn't have any 'good' love songs in her music collection.  Apparently everything she had was depressing and more like a break-up song.  How sad is that?

To remedy the crisis, I pulled together a random selection of celebratory love songs from Camille Yarbrough, Cat Power to Cee Lo Green.  And other crooners whose names start with letters other than 'C'.

   Click to check out my "love songs" playlist on iTunes.

If you face such an emergency, when in doubt turn to Barry White.  He's a fast (and obvious but respectable) solution not included in the list.

I want to add more to the list, so please help me out. What are some of your favorite love songs?

Gaga 2010

We saw Lady Gaga's Fame Monster show in Tacoma, Washington last year.  I do not consider myself an authority on popular culture or music or anything like that.  I'm interested in Lady Gaga as an artist - a performance artist - and I guess as a role model for young women.  My want to see her live was very simple:  I like dance music, I like her dance music, and I appreciate how she has drawn on performance artists throughout history.  I guess I have become a minor fan.  

Here is how it went:

Getting to the show was one of the most fun parts.

We took the light rail from downtown to the Tacoma Dome.

Fans dressed like Gaga, Madonna's Material Girl, 80's retro and in drag.  We didn't.  We love to costume and dress up but we just didn't get our acts together in time.

 

 

waiting for the show to start

one of my favorite photos of B, ever!

My report?  It was a great show.  We had a great time.  And clearly so did everyone else.

The biggest things that struck me were 1) there were many many 8 -12 year old girls there, with a dad or mom or aunt or somebody of course, and I have not been to concerts that included children so comfortably, and 2) how much Gaga delivers and repeats a 'love yourself' message to her fans.  I don't know what I expected, but these were both unexpected things that I can definitely get behind.   

I respect diva pop stars that came before her, like Madonna and Cher. Madonna was fierce, athletic and invented a powerful persona in an inspiring way and dared her fans in provocative ways.  Cher is authentically wacky and naturally bold with a distinct voice.  Both have enough musical talent - perhaps not the best voice, or most beautiful, or best whatever, but they have enough going on in their whole package to command a massive audience. That is not easy. My only complaint about Gaga so far is that she seems to model herself after others so much. A few of her songs sound way too much like Madonna's for me. I get that the modeling is part of her point/image/concept, but I wanted to see she was more.  And at this concert I think I did.

  

When Gaga stood in a black bikini on the piano bench, bent over,  playing the keys while belting a song, I decided, "well, alright then. She's got chops."  It was the whole combination of instrument, performance and strut that proved she owned the show.  It's hard to explain but that was the moment for me. Her ideas and references to other artists - popular culture and fringe performance - are smart and she is clearly on the money with this up and coming generation. The next couple of albums should be revealing.  Her self-mocking fame ideas are good, but how long can it hold up?  I look forward to whatever she does and wish her luck.

Dear Neighbor

Do you know you drive me crazy?


I regularly wake to the startled yelps and pleas of your two dachshunds that sit like a mismatched pair of accidentally dropped clown shoes. Heel to heel with mouthy toes in the air, they face the world.  Without any sound, they could be cute.


Big Older Shoe then Little Skinnier Shoe crying out at every single passerby or neighbor's arrival, departure or mere visit to their own yard.  Walkers.  Cyclists.  Drivers.

"Hey! What's that?" 

"Hey! Wa-wa-what!"

"Hey! What? Who's that?"

"Hey! Wa-wa-what?"

When I take a cup of coffee to the porch, they nag.  If I check my mail, they bitch.  Even when I'm driven indoors and they can't see me, they see or hear someone and incessantly bark and complain.  At least a block's worth of dogs follow their lead in a panic: a shepherd at the corner, the pair of boxers at the other corner, the hound to my other side with his big old raspy Labrador buddy, plus the entire freaking menagerie of ankle-biters across the street.  Those are just the voices that I can identify.

I don't blame the tattered fuzzy slippers that have been left sitting in the yard so much, pathetically lost in the place they are supposed to belong.  

When the neighbor guy rolls out of his car at the end of a workday, the racket sounds and he loudly, emphatically claims, "Damn. You. Fucking ass-hole."  

He is talking to YOU. And I have to agree.

Stinky Free

 "This town smells like B.O. and marijuana." Nicholas A. ca. 1998 age 12, which is somewhere between these two photos of him.

 

My nephew, Nick, is studying to be a designer in Indianapolis. We were discussing the city of Missoula's identity for a design project that he is doing. I'm not sure what the perimeters are for the project yet but I started making lists  and collecting photos to help him. Since it basically launches a Missoula Break Down, I am posting it here, too.

It's not my inclination to take pretty pictures plus my view can be downright grim this time of year, so if you seek pretty pictures of wildlife, landscapes, architecture, and/or people, investigate the Rocky Mountain School of Photography website (RMSP).  This town is crawling with very capable photographers and RMSP is a good place to start finding them.  And if you follow links to some of the websites I've incorporated here, no doubt you'll find promotional images for everything.

Nick said he remembers the town of Missoula as outdoorsy, chain-free - boasting lots of independent restaurants - and artsy.  He hasn't been back for a few years but his memory still holds somewhat true.  We do have a part of town that developed after his time here that I refer to as The Hell Hole where lots of big box stores and chain restaurants appear to thrive.  (North Reserve Street.)  I'll ignore most of that here today.  I'll never forget when Nick piped up about the smells he so astutely observed, either.  Since nearly everyone (except me, of course) is so aggressively athletic, you'll easily find yourself sitting alongside someone who just came off the ski hill or their bike to grab a beer, cup of coffee, lunch, or whatever.  Sometimes you smell them before you see them.  As to the marijuana part, I will leave it somewhat how I left it with Nick when he was a pre-teen. "Is that what pot smells like?"

This is not my thorough and final word by any means on this town but it is a start.

Intellectual Diversity.
When I first moved to Missoula in 1996 (ah hell, don't do the math) one of my clearest observations of the Missoula valley is that no matter how liberal or conservative you believe that you are, you can always find someone whose beliefs are more conservative or more progressive than your own.  And you can often find common ground with any of them.  Never underestimate either side of any line because people are well informed and independent thinking here.  In my encounters,  people push past towing the party line on either side. Their positions zig-zag rhetoric and often for entirely different reasons than one party advocates.  More than just politically active in an old-boy-school way, people here take social activism seriously and with a passion.  That said, Missoula is very left leaning.  There are literally hundreds of non-profit organizations based here.  Most are socially conscious. To find out what current lecture, fund-raiser, event or activity is happening here with calendars and such, I recommend news sources like New West, The Missoula Independent, The Missoulian, college radio and Montana Public Radio.  Don't forget that this is also a University town that offers rotating student and faculty populations, plenty of research, presentations and activity all on its own.  And even though I don't fully understand it, I'll share a tip to cover my bases. "Go Griz!"  A handy standby phrase if some morning you walk past a bar filled with drunk people clad in burgundy sweatshirts. Probably a game day.

Tolerance With Limits.
Coffee houses are always buzzing.  Pun intended.  We have many places to get a cup of coffee downtown Missoula.  Break Espresso. Catalyst. Le Petit Outre. Liquid Planet. The Butterfly.  Bernice's. Many are also bakeries. And there is significant loitering in all of them.  Students meet to discuss group projects, freelancers check their email, writers check their spelling, and so on, every day and all day.  Maybe we are the Parisians of Montana, I don't know, but it's definitely a past time.

It's mean, I know, but I'm proud that Missoula killed a Starbucks.  Here's the building downtown where it WAS.  The franchise supposedly had its own problems that helped its demise here, but it also didn't belong here. When it opened people here drew lines in the sand.  I understand the argument for consistency.  You are traveling, want a cup of coffee and see a known quantity such as Starbuck's and know the difference between grande and latte and so on.  And I hear there are other reasons why Starbuck's aren't all bad as far as big corporations go.  Whatever. (Insert my own personal soap box here.) My point is that Missoula has independent coffee shops a plenty that offer varied qualities to meet different tastes and a corporate owned cookie cutter cafe right downtown was way out of place.  Hence the bumper stickers that read "Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Starbucks."

Moral pressure is strong here.  That said, it's also respectable to buck the moral trend in this town.  Someone will definitely argue their belief to you, but I've always felt others respect your decisions and opinions especially if its informed.  Independent thinking is equally respected.  Now consensus on how to take action is another matter.  And another post another day. (BTW, You can still visit a Starbuck's at the Barnes and Nobles out at The Hell Hole.)

Myths Still Alive

Yes, like Norman Maclean's book (and Redford's movie) says A River Runs Through It.  The Clark-Fork River cuts through Missoula.  In the summers there are events along the river in Caras Park. Like Out-to-Lunch every Wednesday with food venders and live music. Nicknamed the Garden City, the Missoula valley has a decent growing season and a lot of locally grown food sold in groceries and the Farmer's Markets.  (A second Farmer's Market called the Clark Fork River Market opened along the river a few summers ago.)  A nice bike trail winds along here with points past the University and out past the mall across town.

Bar Stool Rodeo

I think the bars are another place besides the rodeo and the landscape where the Wild West mythology still hangs on a bit.  Luckily there are no gunslingers.  But there are a lot of bars for a town this size compared to Midwestern states where I was raised. Gambling is legal in this state so there are lots of gambling machines and 'casinos'.  A few bars still have poker tables, but this is not the Vegas type setting at all.

It is hard to explain but western bars are unique.  The Oxford, called The Ox, pictured above, is on the main drag, Higgins Avenue, and  is one of the oldest in town. They have an active poker table in their front window.  The bar has a rough rep and is open 24 hours a day. You see its patrons lingering outside regularly.  This is also where college rowdies might end a night of bar-hopping to get a burger or whatever before stumbling home.  For a good greasy spoon type burger, I recommend them. They are large patties on a basic white bun and come with standard lettuce, pickles and onions.

The bar scene ranges. Some bars are more modern and hip with fancier food like The Redbird Wine Bar and The James Bar and others are for playing pool, dancing or your basic bar stool warming. Just to name a few from a very long list: Charlie B's, The Union Club, Al's & Vic's, The Silver Dollar, The Rhino, The Badlander. Live music is common at many of them. Oh and don't forget about breweries. Kettle House. Bayern. Big Sky. I'm not a huge beer drinker but I do like to hang out with friends at breweries. And hey, talk about stinky! At least there you can blame it on the brew, eh?

Beautifully Fit

In seeming contrast to the bar scene, there is a serious fitness culture as I cannot repeat enough. It takes little effort to reach the outdoors to enjoy it.  And people do. (Even me.)

You can hike a trail to the "M" on Mount Sentinel.  I took this photo from the bridge in the middle of downtown.  (I thought about cropping out the lines from the power station but that is also one of the charms of Missoula - I'm not sure if it comes from not trying to hide everything or limited vision in planning but there it is.)

For sake of time (and Nick is on a deadline) I'm jumping to a list for some more points.

Creativity.

Yes, there is definitely an art scene.  Oodles and oodles of writers live here.  The Missoula Art Museum  (in a clever building that is half historic Carnegie library and half modern architectural edition) is the downtown hub for much of it.  There is an active theater scene with local playwrite's producing here (as well as traveling, too).  Plus a symphony, opera and big concert tours like the Rolling Stones that make this one of their stops.

The Red X's.  This is a public art sculpture (BLUSH, I'll need to look up the artist's name later) in front of the old railroad depot.  This is at the end of Higgins Avenue where the road stops (the railroad is on the other side of here obviously).  To the right of this photo is where the original Farmer's Market is in the summer and bikes are piled up all over around here.

An extension of the creativity here are the boutiques.  There are lots of fun little independent shops in town.  I picked Tsunami for a photo because I want to take Nick there.  Sadly, Macy's department store is closing downtown.  A few other places that I like are Betty's Divine, Noteworthy, Shakespeare and Co., Red Rooster and House.

Architecture.

I am sure that neither one of these skyscrapers were here when you were here last, Nick.  It seems strange to even put the word skyscraper in the context of Missoula but there were already a few from way back.

The Wilma.
Which houses The Wilma Theater. (Look at their website for some good photos.)  And hosts the annual Nutcracker and several Film Festivals including the one closest to my heart, The Big Sky Documentary Film Festival coming up this February.  Plus there is the Florence Building, below.

Now for my disclaimer:

I dropped a huge pile of generalizations here. They are as reliable as far as generalizations go.  There are a ton more places, people and things to feature about this town.  Some things I cover on other posts in this blog, others I will eventually point out.  And I riddled this post with as many links as came to mind while I madly typed this up.

New Mandolin

A new restaurant opened in an old spot. The Mandolin is in the back of the Union Club's bar.

The location earned a reputation for fine dining just slightly separate from a lively bar under the helm of Marianne Forest and was called the Hob Nob.  The Hob Nob moved across the bridge to the Hip Strip about a decade ago under new ownership and has been successful there. Even so, the Old Hob Nob still haunts the Union Club.  It's been hard for a restaurant to stick there since. One of the biggest challenges I can imagine is maintaining a presence in the back of a very active bar popular for live music and swing dancing.  Plus, the bar and restaurant servers are divided so if you want wine or a refreshing V&T with your dinner, you need to get up and go to the bar.  Not a huge thing but an odd thing that most people don't expect.

We ate at The Mandolin for the first time last week. On Tuesdays, they have live mandolin jam sessions in the front corner of the restaurant, but they also had live jamming the night we were there (Friday was it?) as well, so expect music.  We enjoyed our burgers (as you can see) plus they also serve pasta and other fare.  The multiple slices of citrus in the water was a small but nice colorful touch.  The staff all seemed to be on their toes and it was a busy night.  Perhaps they've conquered the space's ghosts or at least are on their way.  I'll be going back to lend a hand making way for the new and now.

Check out their website which indicates the restaurant is a hub for all things mandolin instrument related, with classifieds and notes from history.  Did you know Steve Earle just had a birthday on January 17th?


*******************
Update on May 13, 2011: This restaurant has closed!

Switching Sounds

I grew tired of juggling with CDs almost as soon as I gave up on cassette tapes.

                                       (The new speaker setup is tidier)


It's important to me to have music in my environment.  I'm not obsessed with reciting lyrics or 'name that band' games.  Sure I listen to the words, but I engage music somatically rather than intellectually.  The rhythm helps me maintain a confident mood and I feel like I get more done. I enjoy music of nearly all styles and constantly mix genres. The sequence and transitions between songs is as interesting to me as the individual songs.  I stream college radio stations to see what the kids are digging at the moment then I pick it up at a local music store, usually Rockin' Rudy's.  More often than I care to admit, I get impatient and download the music online. Like many people, I want good music for the ever-changing moment, but storing or fiddling with piles of compact discs and their cases when I am cooking or in the midst of entertaining during a dinner party drives me a bit crazy.

I almost completely abandoned the CD player ages ago.  I think everyone is going this direction by now. I committed to the transfer process and everything gets downloaded to my Mac. The discs are stored in the basement or resold to used cd shops (I'd rather have the cash than dust a pile of plastic) and I back up my music library to a hard drive once in awhile.  The system seems to work fine so far.

I often find tracks through web music outlets, either free or through membership, and download directly.  I like the option of selecting an artist's song and perhaps not having the entire album (er, ahem, CD) if I don't want it. Furthermore, it's my nature to pick the more obscure selections from an album rather than the most popular,  so my collection is varied but less and less cluttered the more that I pick and choose.

By now I have accumulated a substantial collection of songs in iTunes, either from CDs or downloads. When planning for a party, which I like to have often, it was almost silly to select song lists and burn CDs or playlists for an iPod to then be carried to yet another player twenty steps away from my office.  Probably it's lazy or dumb, but it just wouldn't happen.

As an alternative I kept a stack of discs handy to play in a small CD player in the kitchen which would quickly be exhausted or heaven forbid, a guest makes a request. Knowing that you have a varied selection just barely out of reach is a mini-drag, not a hostess failure exactly, but a niggling itch that persists until someone hopefully scratches it and gives you some relief.  In a pathetic attempt to have all the freedoms that my collection offers, I moved my JBL creature speakers to the edge of my desk, pointing them toward the kitchen to have ambient dinner party music.  Or just to have 'shuffling around the kitchen' music.  It's a small thing, I know, and mostly reveals how lazy I am but there it is.

                                                (Yep, it's just like a plug.)


Now, though, the glory of diverse, immediately gratifying song list switching is at the tip of my fingers for my every whim and mood.  And my guest's moods.  An AirPort Express came as an unexpected gift this winter.  I can share my playlist around the house by sticking this white box into any outlet around the house inside or out and putting a set of speakers with it. It all runs on the wireless. It is super tidy.  (It looks like a tall white plug. See above.) I can pop the speakers outside for backyard gatherings or to our front porch for summer outdoor cinema nights. And we can share each other's playlists from other laptops and desktops through the AirPort too.

Very cool.  I highly recommend it.

Sustain trailer (word of mouth)

The Trucks

I am a fan of The Trucks. I think that I heard them on the local college radio station awhile back. Or through an online music source. If I make a mix, they have to be on it. If I want to cheer up a friend, I make them listen to The Trucks.  I listen to them every day.

These four young women are all kinds of sassy. To me, they are Fem-rock/Girl-power and I love them. They also wear goofy spandex unitard suits with sequin trim, but I didn't know that until I saw them last weekend.  Even with all of their attitude, you can feel their love for their audience. Plus, as B says, they also sell their own merch, which is good, and they are sparkly when they do it. I had already ordered one of their t-shirts online, but it didn't get here in time for the show... so I bought a mix CD and had them sign it. 

Anyway, they did not disappoint me. They camped, vamped and riled the crowd - girls and boys alike. (I wasn't sure if I was just feeling a chick thing over them, or if the vibe crossed gender.) They incited a pogo-ing mosh pit surrounded by fist-waving women and smiling boys.  Recs: March 1st, 3AM & Shattered.

They came to Missoula for Total Fest VII.  Total Fest is put on by Wantage, a record label based here in Missoula with bands from around the country.  The FEst takes place at The Badlander. During Total Fest, 3 stages play bands in rotation, with each band playing a 30 minute set. For the audience it is like a mini music buffet. 2 bands are always playing at once, plus a fourth 'extra' band plays in the lounge area where different bands and labels have tables of t-shirts, CDs, stickers, etc. If the band upstairs doesn't turn you on, check out downstairs, or take a break and wait about 20 minutes for the next turn over.

Maybe it was just how we timed it, but we also caught some good 2 piece bands and wonder if the two-piece band (drums/guitar) is a trend:

Birthday Suits

Two Japanese guys drove down from Minneapolis and apparently burned through a set of tires and barely made it. They are intense, uber-energy punk. I was mesmerized by the lead. They created the biggest rowdiest frenzy of testosterone that I saw there, but in a really great way.  We also bought one of their funny t-shirts with a panda design.

The Limbs

Okay, it is a stretch (pun intended) to call this a 2-piece band.  It is one guy. He plays drums and guitar at the same time and sings.  If I only heard him and didn't SEE him, I don't know what I would be saying here, but this guy is an amazing and brilliant thing.  He's not just making noise, either. Each foot hammers a different sized drum while he strums chords on the guitar, singing and smacks the cymbals with the end of the guitar.  Wow.

Vera

Another 2-piece band that I admire that was part of Total Fest, that I did not catch this past weekend, is called Vera. Vera is based in Missoula, is a 2 woman band that are smart and funny with great energy.  I think they are new, so I'll be eager to see them grow, record CDs, get a website and so on.  I hope to post more on them in the future.

Another word about this music scene. I feel a shift in what I see with live music since the 80s. Particularly rock. Events like these were complete madness and hideous displays of drug and drunkenness where bullies prevailed. It was dog-eat-dog. Especially for a girl, I think. And the better the band, the worse people behaved.  As if they felt permission from all of the energy.  What I saw at Total Fest though, was great. I think punk is back in the best sense of the word. Young men seem a lot less angry (or I am more objective) as they jump and collide they also hold each other up, laugh and hug each other a lot. I don't know how to explain it, but I like what I saw.  

And as far as events go, I am super critical of organized events since I have done a fair bit of event planning. The bands did an excellent job moving in (and off) in a timely fashion, keeping things rolling and revealing, I think, a lot of respect for one another.  Usually events with multiple 'shows' fall behind quickly either from disorganization or the pride and egos of presenters who just hate to leave the stage.  I didn't notice this here, if it happened. I also noticed bands helping out other bands that maybe didn't have a relationship before this event, sharing drum kits, helping clear the stage, etc. I saw a lot of that. 

Plus there were water coolers with ice-water that were kept full. This was important to me since it feels lame to wait in a long beer line for an ice water. I tip for it, but still. So the bar or the organizers cared about keeping everyone hydrated. How granola is that? (THANK YOU!) 

Wait. They didn't stop there. They also set up a buffet so people would eat. I didn't see excessive drunkenness or rudeness or trashiness. I guess that I have mostly been to these kinds of events in big cities, but really, not even a folk-festival is as civilized as this.  The average age was probably 25, so maybe kids are growing up with more manners.  I don't know.  

But for $15 per person, we showed up at 9:00 PM for an event that was a few hours into its second night and we saw eight bands and left by 11:30. Yeah, you can't beat that with a big stick or even a chain-saw.

My only complaint was figuring out the schedule of the line-up before that night, so I would know WHEN to catch The Trucks, which was all that I cared about at that time.  Now that I have been, I would go at the start. In a heartbeat.

Art of Conversation (still learning)

According to the English writer, Dorothy Nevill, "the real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

My mouth leads me around a lot. It gets me into unexpected and interesting places that I like. But when it gets me into trouble, you can bet it is a whopper. 

One night recently I had a completely terrible night of technical problems when I was shooting an interview for a documentary we have going.  The documentary involves musicians and so we were at a bar and it was late. I'll spare you the details but you must know that I was absolutely spent. My frustration with the technical hurdles had left me reduced to a blob with a patch of hair on top. Finally, after we got the interview (which turned out fine, by the way), we packed up the gear and grabbed drinks.  It's midnight and I was operating on fumes.  

A friend spots me and says hello.  She has a two-woman punk band. Their lyrics are strong and funny and they use parenting as one of their themes. For part of the chorus of one song, they yell, "Colic! Colic! Colic!" followed by imitations of a baby whailing. I liked their attitude, their beat and their show stayed with me. Plus, I like her. She's electric. She's a friend that I hardly ever see, but I'm a fan. I eagerly tell her how great their band is. 

We sit down in the beer garden and her pal in the band walks up.  She is a small-framed and slender woman wearing a stiff cotton baby-doll dress. I recognize her face as someone that I recall but I don't place her yet. I just know that I think that I like her and I want to know her. I turn to my friend, "Don't I know her?" She introduces us. 

When I hear that she's the bad-ass little drummer of their band, I light up. She sits down across from me and her dress billows with a crease under her breasts and another at her lap. I remember the last time I saw this petite woman, she was rocking out behind a drum set. Now she's standing in front of me and the way her dress bulges so far out I make a huge awful assumption. (Oh, yes, you see this train wreck coming. Say, "Oh, no, you didn't." But, "Yes. I did.") 

I have never made this particular mistake in my life and spoken it aloud. And without any processing or hesitation, my little groupie p.o.v. now pictures her rocking out pregnant. And I love it. How bad-ass is that? With total admiration I say, "I didn't realize you were pregnant." Even after I say it, I see no risks in what I am saying. I am beaming. She asks, "What?" And still, no clue hits me and I say it again. Finally she replies, "I am not." 

I recoiled physically as I apologized.  I absolutely did not want to offend this woman. Hell, I was trying to make a new friend.I replay the scenario over and over in my head and wish so deeply that I could have a do-over. A time out. Anything. The perverse trick to the lesson is that I wasn't thinking anything bad or commenting on her body. In fact, she's petite. She looked great. I liked that she was a drummer. I was fantasizing about being a rocker. That was all. The dress tricked me, damn it.

I clearly hurt this woman's feelings. My friend immediately explained to her that it is her dress. Of course, the damage was done. Even if such a mistake could be forgivable, it is unforgettable. She went to a different part of the bar. My friend then explained to me that the drummer had just lost 40 pounds. She went to talk with her. I went home.